So as all of you should know, Super Bowl XLIII is being played this Sunday. Normally, as a huge football fan, I look forward to the game. This year, however, I'm more excited about the party we'll be having at Thomas and Morah's house. So, why am I down about this year's game? Because of the teams playing. Let's look at each one of them, and I'll explain why I don't want them to win:
Pittsburgh Steelers: Super Bowl XL. Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10. They beat my beloved Seahawks in their as-to-date only appearance in the big game. Granted, the refs had something to do with it. All who watched the game know what I mean by that. But the Steelers did win. I want retribution. Plus, the Steelers have already won five Super Bowls. So why not just root for the opposing team?
Arizona Cardinals: NFC West Champions. The Cardinals play in the same division as the Seahawks. Hard-core fans of any team have an unnatural hatred (actually, it seems natural to me, but probably not to anyone else who reads this) of teams in the same division. I still hate all the teams from the AFC West, which Seattle was a member of until 2002. Now I hate the other teams in the NFC West, including Arizona. Plus, if the fucking Cardinals, who have only been to the playoffs six times in the past 60 years and have only won five playoff games (three of those coming this year), win a Super Bowl before my Seahawks, I'm gonna be ever so pissed.
So, who should I root for? I have to root for someone: it's the gorram Super Bowl! In trying to decide, I fell back on my old rule: if I don't care for either team, or hate them both equally, root for the underdog. The underdog this year is the Cardinals. So come Sunday I will be cheering for them. But don't expect me to be happy if they win.
I'm gonna need a lot of alcohol.